I suppose there are multiple words that have been referred to as the "F word" (I can think of at least three, and I'm sure there are more), but the F word that the title of this post refers to is... probably the one most often referred to by that designation. The four-letter word which is sometimes claimed to have originated from an acronym for "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge", and at other times for "Fornication Under Consent of the King". (Both of these are of course spurious folk etymologies; it did not really originate from an acronym at all.)

It is not a word I use in conversation. It is not a word I have ever spoken out loud except perhaps when acting, a pursuit, like drawing, in which I have dabbled more than I should have despite demonstrably possessing no talent for it whatsoever. This is not because I feel that the use of such obscenities is morally wrong; I do not object to other people using them or think less of people who do; I just don't use them myself. Perhaps—probably—it is a vestige of my upbringing in an extremely conservative religion; I am no longer religious, and now regard the religion in which I was brought up as not only wrong but actively harmful; but that does not mean I have escaped all the baggage I internalized from it.

I am, evidently, loath even to write the word in question, as evidenced by the fact that I have not done so in this blog post, instead dancing around it and stubbornly circumlocuting. I could explain my not using it here by the claim that I want the Wongery to be family-friendly, but... honestly, do I? I like children; I have had jobs that involved working with children; but the Wongery is not really meant for children, and there are certainly things here that I would not consider child-appropriate. (I have considered the idea of adding a "Children's Wongery" as an additional wiki on the site explicitly containing only age-appropriate content, but, I mean, I'm doing a very poor job with regularly updating the wikis that already exist.) Children are not the target audience for my blog posts. And besides, it's not just here on the Wongery that I avoid writing the word (and similar profanities like the one that, in a similar bit of false folk etymology, is sometimes erroneously said to be an acronym for "ship high in transit"); it's... pretty much everywhere. These are not words I am comfortable using, though I admit I have no good reason for this reluctance.

So why am I bringing this up now? Well, because of my novel. The one set in the Dreamsea that I started for November novel-writing month.

No, I haven't written anything more of it since November. But I have been thinking about it. In a post I made at the end of December, I listed some things I still needed to work out regarding the novel's plot. Among other things (well, among at least one other thing), I didn't know how it was going to end, and I didn't know what the legendary treasure that was the novel's main MacGuffin actually was. Well, I still haven't completely worked out those things, but I've made some progress. I know enough about the ending now to know that the exact nature of the treasure isn't important, and I know the ultimate fates of at least two of the villains. And I've answered one important question that I hadn't really previously realized was an important question at all: namely, why was the treasure hidden in the first place? The treasure was hidden away by a now long-dead retired pirate who left a cryptic list of criteria that must be fulfilled to reach it. But... why would he do that? What was the point? I didn't really have an answer for that before, but now I do. There is an actual good reason why he hid his treasure away and left vague clues for future treasure-seekers, and that reason will become very important at the climax of the story.

So, again, what does that have to do with the subject of this post? Well, it has to do with one of the villains whose fate I've decided on, and more specifically with the last scene in which that villain appears. I haven't written the scene yet, of course; it would come very near the end of the book; but I have a good idea of what it's going to entail, and even know a few specific lines in it. And one of those lines—as I currently conceive it—involves, well, the F word.

"As a reasonable woman, I think you should go [F-word] yourself."

The thing is, though, I'm... reluctant to write that. I'm reluctant to use that word, even in the context of the novel. But in the scene in question... it just seems so right. It seems like what the character speaking the line would say, should say. I haven't come up with an alternate line that I feel works nearly as well.

Why don't I want to use the word? It's not because it's an anachronism. It's not. First, the novel isn't of course set on Earth; it's set in a whole different esture, and the characters aren't necessarily speaking English anyway. But second, even if I were concerned with keeping the language to a premodern vocabulary, which I very much am not, it still wouldn't be a problem; the Oxford English Dictionary traces the F word, in its verbal usage, at least as far back as the late sixteenth century (despite its, according to the etymology given in the OED, not appearing in a "modern dictionary of general English" until 1965). It's not because the novel is meant for children; while I wouldn't say it's chock full of sex and violence, there is quite a bit in it that is not child-appropriate. For instance, it's very strongly implied that the landlady of one of the main characters is a procuress, and I guess there is one bit that may technically qualify as a sex scene, though if so it is the least explicit sex scene ever written because I am a gigantic prude. This is not a children's book. I do actually have an idea for a children's book I want to write (not Wongery-related), but this isn't it.

No, I don't want to use the word just because... well, because it's not a word I use. Because I still retain enough pudibundity from my pædotrophy that something in me recoils at writing them, even if I consciously know there's nothing really wrong with it. But... but... that line kind of needs the word. I just don't think any substitution will be as effective. I'm going to do my best to suppress my repression and go ahead and write it.

Also, glancing back over some of what I'd written of the novel as I was composing this post, it occurs to me that there's an earlier line that... might also be improved by some profanity. One of the other villains says at one point "Oh, don't give me that garbage." But... eh, that sounds off; it might have more bite and sound more natural if I replaced "garbage" with... well, let's just say the S-word.

But I need to get over some of these counterproductive compunctions. There's no good reason not to use these words, and I honestly the book will be better if I do. So. Okay. Captain Alagela will say "fuck". And Durgan will say "shit".

(I feel dirty.)